This ole lady needs help. You won't get to butcher a cow, but you will get to gut an eggplant and bread some mean ass tofu. You will work with a bevvy of really good folks who like bad music. You will learn a lot. Your ego can stay in the closet. Your cleaning skills will be praised. The hours are easy and painless. You can pick up extra gigs when we go to peoples houses and make pretty food (and you can wear fancier clothes then). You will be given a nickname, so if your given name has always bothered you, rest assured, a new day dawns. Part or full time is possible.
Yep, Duos Kitchen is looking to hire a humble, hard working, organized, kind, thoughtful, open person who has a non blood thirst for learning vegetarian and unusual cuisine. Send a convincing cover letter and resume to firstname.lastname@example.org